Let’s face it; weight loss and keeping
it off is hard. We’ve all heard the statistics about weight regain and the grim
numbers about the obesity epidemic we’re facing in this country. But what
really makes it so difficult to lose weight and then maintain? Well, let’s
first take a look at what we know. What we know to be true is that those
individuals who do adhere to their weight loss and maintenance regimens achieve
and sustain weight loss; pretty simple, right? If you stick to the plan, it
works! However, many people struggle to do this. Now, the problem can present
itself as being about lack of knowledge or lack of motivation or a lack of
willpower but what it really comes down to is non-adherence to the plan; i.e.
simply not sticking to it.
Now, if setting goals and trying hard to
achieve them were enough to ensure success, the task of achieving Optimal
Health would be a lot easier. Unfortunately, when it comes to making positive
life changes many people will encounter psychological barriers to sticking to the
plan. The most common are summarized, most appropriately, by the acronym FEAR:
F = Fusion with Unhelpful Thoughts. This
basically means that we’re so caught up in our thoughts that we aren’t even
aware that we’re thinking and then those thoughts dictate our behavior. It’s
like we’re being pushed around by our thoughts or allowing our thoughts to tell
us what to do. When a person sets out to make a change, it’s normal for their
mind to generate “unhelpful” thoughts like: I’m too busy, I can’t do it, I’ll fail,
It’s too hard, and so on which can prevent them from moving forward. It’s a
common misconception that our thoughts control our behaviors. They certainly
influence our behaviors but ultimately we have a choice. However, when we get
all entangled, caught up, or carried off by these thoughts they dominate our
attention and we can’t focus on what is truly important to us. Becoming ‘fused’
with unhelpful thoughts throws us off-track.
E = Excessive Goals. If a person’s goals
exceed their resources, they’ll either give up or fail. Necessary resources
could include a person’s skills, ability, social support, time, money, and
physical health. Setting goals that are too difficult or impossible will only
result in frustration and abandonment of their weight loss and maintenance
plans.
A = Avoidance of Discomfort. The
practice of new way of eating and living can be difficult and tedious for some;
and the pursuit of goals that pull us out of the “comfort zone” almost always
generates significant anxiety. This discomfort is inevitable when it comes to
lifestyle changes. So, if we are unwilling to make room for that discomfort,
then we will not take action.
R = Remoteness from Values. If a person
loses touch with their values that underlie their goals – if it doesn’t seem
meaningful or important to them – then they will lose motivation. Values can
provide a deep motivation that helps to sustain the practice of new skills, or
the pursuit of challenging goals, even when it’s difficult, tedious or
anxiety-provoking. The practice of using Structural Tension Charts can be a big
help to realize and set goals with Primary and Secondary Choices and action
steps to follow. This is found in the first few chapters in “Dr. A’s Habits of
Health” as well as “Discover Your Optimal health” and the Workbook.
So, how do we address these barriers?
Well, the antidote to FEAR is DARE:
D = Defusion from Unhelpful Thoughts.
The mind is a reason-giving machine, and as soon as we think about doing
something that pulls us out of our comfort zone, it cranks out all the reasons
why we can’t do it, shouldn’t do it, or shouldn’t have to do it. And if we wait
until the day when our mind stops reason-giving before we do the things that
really matter in life… we’ll never get started. So, if fusion with
reason-giving is a major barrier to action, then naturally we target it with
defusion. This means separating or distancing ourselves from unhelpful
thoughts, letting them come and go instead of being caught up in them. In other
words, defusion means looking at thoughts, rather than from thoughts; noticing
thoughts rather than being caught up in thoughts; and letting thoughts come and
go rather than holding on to them. One of the simplest ways of separating from
thoughts is to write them down. This helps a person to take a step back and see
the thoughts for what they are: a string of words. Nothing more, nothing less.
A = Acceptance of Discomfort. This means
making room for painful thoughts and feelings, not because they like them or
want them, but so they can do what matters. So, we can ask ourselves “Am I
willing to feel some discomfort, in order to do what matters most to me?” If a
person is unwilling to make room for the inevitable discomfort, they may need
to clarify and connect with their values or set easier goals. Both of which we
will discuss next.
R = Realistic Goals. If a person’s goals
exceed their resources then they need to create a new goal to acquire those
resources if possible, or accept the limitations of their reality and change
their goal to adapt in the best way possible. The journey of a thousand miles
begins with one step. So, if a goal seems to big, make it smaller. If walking
for 30 minutes is too much, cut it back to ten. If doing it daily is
unrealistic, do it every other day. Ask yourself: “On a scale from zero to ten,
where ten is ‘I’ll definitely do this no matter what’ and zero is ‘There is
absolutely no change I’ll ever do this’ – then how likely are you to actually
do this?” If you score less than seven, best change the goal to something
smaller and easier.
E = Embracing Values. If a person is
lacking motivation, then they need to reflect on why they’re doing this. What’s
important and meaningful about this action? Does it truly matter? If so, why?
Ask yourself: “Is this really important to me? Which of my values underlie this
action? How would doing this make a positive difference in my life and the
lives of others?” If we can link our new behaviors to something personally
meaningful, we’re far more likely to do it!
So, there you go. Those are the most
common psychological barriers to someone taking action to change their
lifestyle and the most effective ways to target and overcome those barriers.
BY: Nick Frye
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